scrabble-largeScrabble is one of my favorite games, and I love to play with my wife and my dad on slow holiday weekends. Our games are usually 3 hour marathons, as we play by the “learn new words” rule, which is to say we are allowed to look in the official Scrabble dictionary to check if our possible plays are, in fact, real words. While the spirit of this rule is that one can only look up the word one is about to play, naturally this little crutch gets heavily abused, to the effect that there are often unpronounceable new words on our game board and questionable looks from opposing players after “bacchic” or “scow” is played for triple word score.

Tonight my wife and I were at our local coffee shop and started a traditional Scrabble game, and I suggested we try a new variant: “Makey-Uppy Scrabble“. Here are the rules:

  1. No word played on the board can be an actual word in the official Scrabble dictionary.
  2. Words played must nevertheless sounds like real words, with proper English spelling and construction. For instance, there must be one vowel or Y in the word, the word must have a proper ending (i.e., -ed not -d), and the syllables should have realistic latin, slavic, arabic, indonesian or african roots (e.g., “yrwd” is pushing it)
  3. Most important, a definition of the word must be provided upon playing and the word used in a proper sentence. The definition should be sufficiently convincing (or funny) to be approved by all other players.

Basically it combines Scrabble with Sniglets. Our game was great, lots of fun and very rewarding. We each scored over 450 points (my wife beat me by 4 points) and on several occasions we played all of our tiles on the board. One of my words, “werewuxi” – the offspring of a werewolf and a wookie (n, plural) – scored 125 points alone. Here are some of the better words to come out of our inaugural round:

gankliac (n): Someone who is obsessed with gigantic ankles. “The gankliac, unable to restrain himself, tackled the obese woman and proceeded to tear off her socks.”

hoj (n): A pilgrimage made by a group of women or men of ill repute. “We made our annual spring hoj to Ft. Lauderdale.”

quacoa (n): A speciality of chocolate aficionados, quacoa is extracted from the feces of overfed ducks who are fed cocoa fruit, giving it a somewhat fatty flavor. “One more cup of hot quacoa please!”

theyes (n, plural): The result of rare genetic anomaly in which ocular tissue migrates in a fetus to settle halfway between the knee and hip. The resulting “eyes” or known as “theyes”. “My, what beautiful theyes you have!”

votad (n): The little sticker given to you after you voted. “Henry, having just turned 18, shows off his votad with pride.”

poonbond (n): the affection felt for someone you’ve just had sex with. “I feel like I have a real poonbond with you now.” Can also be used as a verb: “Won’t you stay and poonbond with me?”

spez (n): let’s just say this is another sexual term and leave it at that.